In exactly one week from now I should be (barring any delays) either in a recovery room or in my actual room at the hospital. I am simultaneously freaked out and wicked excited. It is high-time for this dysfunctional hip to go, high-time I tell ya. It's causing me to live I life I do no wish to live: house-bound, inactive, and in far too much pain.
I can't help but get caught up in the minute details of it all: how am I supposed to get in and out of a car/bed when my arms are destroyed by RA? How am I going to deal with all the damn stairs in my house? What if my ass falls off? (I am not actually scared of this, it's in reference to my new favourite - though now inactive - blog by Arley McNeney, fellow Canadian and youngster hip recipient. Part of her ass was literally unattached after surgery. Seriously).
But, I have been promising myself the past couple of days to really focus on the positive. I even have my own mantra, which I say aloud when my hip painfully grinds and pops its way into place:
"Smooth metal ball, shiny new socket. Smooth metal ball, shiny new socket. Smooth metal ball, shiny new socket". Oh yes, smooth metal ball and shiny new socket, you will soon be mine!
Friday, March 23, 2012
Monday, March 5, 2012
March Updates
1. Tentative surgery date of march 30th. Come on already!! I need me a new hip, like, five months ago.
2. Still not too bored, which is impressive as I have been off work since September. I've learned just how much t.v. I can watch (a lot). Fortunately I've recently challenged myself on a new website I've joined to read 30 books this year. Which simultaneously sounds like a lot and not very much.
3. Speaking of joining new websites, I've joined Pinterest (OMG, so addictive!!), twitter (less addictive), and Goodreads (take over my life why don't you?). Social media much??
4. I shaved my damn legs for the first time in MONTHS. I don't really care, but it was pissing me off because I couldn't. I got a wicked shower seat for my birthday that makes me a happier, and cleaner, person.
5. Oh yeah, Dom broke his RIGHT hand a month ago, so we only have three good legs and three good arms between us. And, I'm labelling my arms as "good" as I can technically use them: unlike my right leg and Dom's right hand. It's been a real fun month. We are a pathetic couple right now. He had to travel by plane for surgery and everything. With me as an escort. Yeah.
6. We've had the best winter in a few years up here in Labrador. And a good winter is here is lots of fluffy snow and blinding sun. Except I rarely leave the house, never mind snowshoeing or ski-dooing. And, with Dom's hand, the relentless snow has really made us rely on family and friends to constantly shovel us out.
What's new with you folks? I'm a little out of the loop!
2. Still not too bored, which is impressive as I have been off work since September. I've learned just how much t.v. I can watch (a lot). Fortunately I've recently challenged myself on a new website I've joined to read 30 books this year. Which simultaneously sounds like a lot and not very much.
3. Speaking of joining new websites, I've joined Pinterest (OMG, so addictive!!), twitter (less addictive), and Goodreads (take over my life why don't you?). Social media much??
4. I shaved my damn legs for the first time in MONTHS. I don't really care, but it was pissing me off because I couldn't. I got a wicked shower seat for my birthday that makes me a happier, and cleaner, person.
5. Oh yeah, Dom broke his RIGHT hand a month ago, so we only have three good legs and three good arms between us. And, I'm labelling my arms as "good" as I can technically use them: unlike my right leg and Dom's right hand. It's been a real fun month. We are a pathetic couple right now. He had to travel by plane for surgery and everything. With me as an escort. Yeah.
6. We've had the best winter in a few years up here in Labrador. And a good winter is here is lots of fluffy snow and blinding sun. Except I rarely leave the house, never mind snowshoeing or ski-dooing. And, with Dom's hand, the relentless snow has really made us rely on family and friends to constantly shovel us out.
What's new with you folks? I'm a little out of the loop!
Wednesday, January 4, 2012
New Year's Resolution
As I posted on my facebook recently, my new year's resolution is to lose as few body parts as possible. It's good solid advice. I mean, we all need as many body parts as we can keep, am I right?? Alas, I said that I wanted to lose as few as possible, not lose no body parts. For you see, I learned on December 28th, that I am in pretty desperate need of a hip replacement. Not that I didn't know some kind of intervention was coming, the crutches and wheelchair were clues. I just kind of thought that they might need to go in and "clean" things up a little. I don't know if I was being naive or something, but when the doctor told me, I was shocked. It seems silly to think back to my feelings, obviously there is some serious crap going on in there. I can't walk or get in and out of bed by myself. I can't really remember the last time I put on my own socks (I need some new gadgets).
So, I probably will lose the top of my femoral head, but it's all for a greater good, right?? I know that down the road I will feel soooo much better than I do right now. But, where I am right now is wishing I didn't have to be in need of this in the first place. Thinking about those first couple of incredibly painful days, basically re-learning how to walk and months of rehabilitation, still not being able to put my socks on for a period of time (what I wouldn't do for some independence!!), the threat of infection (got first hand experience), and the not being able to go back. Go back to all of my own body parts, to not having yet again some foreign object in my body. There's a level of distrust in my own body.
Sorry this post is a little bit of a downer! I am a bit excited, really. I can't wait to be able to get around without aids, to go outside for a walk with my fella and pup, and to put on my own darn socks! I know the outcome will be good, I just know that the road to get there will be tough.
So, I probably will lose the top of my femoral head, but it's all for a greater good, right?? I know that down the road I will feel soooo much better than I do right now. But, where I am right now is wishing I didn't have to be in need of this in the first place. Thinking about those first couple of incredibly painful days, basically re-learning how to walk and months of rehabilitation, still not being able to put my socks on for a period of time (what I wouldn't do for some independence!!), the threat of infection (got first hand experience), and the not being able to go back. Go back to all of my own body parts, to not having yet again some foreign object in my body. There's a level of distrust in my own body.
Sorry this post is a little bit of a downer! I am a bit excited, really. I can't wait to be able to get around without aids, to go outside for a walk with my fella and pup, and to put on my own darn socks! I know the outcome will be good, I just know that the road to get there will be tough.
Wednesday, December 14, 2011
Accomplishments
Today's shining glory: only breaking out into massive, sobbing hysterics once (yet - the evening is still young) while trying to get to the bathroom. I'm proud of myself!! I think it only took me 20-25 minutes, too, which is amazing! Okay, okay, Dom basically carried me most of the way up there, but I made it down myself!!
I know I've been MIA lately, and that sucks. This is an RA blog after all, and I've got some RA crap on the go. Despite the fact that most of my time is spent on my couch watching television ALL day long, I do have pretty big things going on in my life, most of which are not fun.
More of a long-winded post, full of depressing crap* soon, I promise!!
* Okay, so my life is not total crap :) I feel with all this stuff, my relationship is getting stronger, I can appreciate those tiny little victories so much, and Christmas is a season I love very much. While, I'm not getting as much accomplished as I'd like (fun shopping, baking, hanging out, etc.), it's still a beautiful time of the year up here in Labrador!
I know I've been MIA lately, and that sucks. This is an RA blog after all, and I've got some RA crap on the go. Despite the fact that most of my time is spent on my couch watching television ALL day long, I do have pretty big things going on in my life, most of which are not fun.
More of a long-winded post, full of depressing crap* soon, I promise!!
* Okay, so my life is not total crap :) I feel with all this stuff, my relationship is getting stronger, I can appreciate those tiny little victories so much, and Christmas is a season I love very much. While, I'm not getting as much accomplished as I'd like (fun shopping, baking, hanging out, etc.), it's still a beautiful time of the year up here in Labrador!
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
Week 2
Some thoughts after my first full week of sick leave:
1. Bra-less-ness. Ahhhhhhhhhhhh :)
2. Netflix, how I love thee. Thank you for indulging me in all the movies that Dom hates. Time to catch up on my horrors/thrillers!
3. I just realized, despite not working, I do have my own uniform. It goes like this: sweatpants, t-shirt, slippers, bra optional.
4. Man, I love my couch!
5. Wow, I can kill time like nobody's business. I can't believe I thought I'd be bored!!
1. Bra-less-ness. Ahhhhhhhhhhhh :)
2. Netflix, how I love thee. Thank you for indulging me in all the movies that Dom hates. Time to catch up on my horrors/thrillers!
3. I just realized, despite not working, I do have my own uniform. It goes like this: sweatpants, t-shirt, slippers, bra optional.
4. Man, I love my couch!
5. Wow, I can kill time like nobody's business. I can't believe I thought I'd be bored!!
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
When Life Hands You a Float, You Ride It
So, I work at a feminist organization, and one of the events we hold each year is Take Back the Night. It's an opportunity for women to march down the street, chanting, singing, holding signs and protesting violence against women. Supportive men wait for us at a local park, bbq-ing and preparing for our arrival. Then it's fun family time with singing, poetry and other open-mic type entertainment.
This is one of my favourite events we hold. It's utterly empowering, thrilling and totally fun. Over 100 women and children, a float and a lot of noise.
Getting ready for last year's march
However, this is going to be the first year that I may not be able to walk. I've been in a major flare impacting my right hip and right knee (with some major neck muscle pain to boot) for about two weeks. I can barely make it around my house most days, never mind a 30 minute walk.
As I mentioned above, we do have a float, and I will be taking full advantage. So, this year, instead of walking at the front and chanting until my throat is raw, I will be riding in the back and chanting until my throat is raw. I'm still participating, but I'm a little sad that it's not how I want to be participating.
This is all a lead in to the fact that the march, this Friday night, will be my last day of work for a month. I'm taking off a month paid sick leave to try and get my health back on track, then re-entering work on a part-time basis for a period of time. My workplace is beyond supportive, for which I am unbearably grateful. I know not everyone has this option.
RA got the best of me, y'all. But I'm not going down without a massive fight, and I plan on rising from this crap by taking care of myself and RESTING. What a novel idea :)
This is one of my favourite events we hold. It's utterly empowering, thrilling and totally fun. Over 100 women and children, a float and a lot of noise.
However, this is going to be the first year that I may not be able to walk. I've been in a major flare impacting my right hip and right knee (with some major neck muscle pain to boot) for about two weeks. I can barely make it around my house most days, never mind a 30 minute walk.
As I mentioned above, we do have a float, and I will be taking full advantage. So, this year, instead of walking at the front and chanting until my throat is raw, I will be riding in the back and chanting until my throat is raw. I'm still participating, but I'm a little sad that it's not how I want to be participating.
This is all a lead in to the fact that the march, this Friday night, will be my last day of work for a month. I'm taking off a month paid sick leave to try and get my health back on track, then re-entering work on a part-time basis for a period of time. My workplace is beyond supportive, for which I am unbearably grateful. I know not everyone has this option.
RA got the best of me, y'all. But I'm not going down without a massive fight, and I plan on rising from this crap by taking care of myself and RESTING. What a novel idea :)
Friday, July 29, 2011
Belly Braggin'
Guess what I've been eating, huh? Strawberries from my garden. That's right, I have my own patch of tasty little morsels in my very own yard. And, yes, I know people have been eating strawberries for a little while now this summer. BUT, I live in Labrador people, and it's pretty amazing to eat something out of my yard when it's not even August yet (which is in a couple of days, but whatever). It's not exactly the tropics around here.
I think I could be at least documenting some of my garden on camera so I could physically show off to people...I'll get on that. In the meantime, here is a picture of a patch of strawberries not in my garden (and my patch doesn't have that many red yet. It's still Labrador. While it's 28 degrees Celsius this week, it was 7 degrees Celsius last week. I've only eaten maybe 6 strawbs thus far):
You are the sunshine of my life
I think I could be at least documenting some of my garden on camera so I could physically show off to people...I'll get on that. In the meantime, here is a picture of a patch of strawberries not in my garden (and my patch doesn't have that many red yet. It's still Labrador. While it's 28 degrees Celsius this week, it was 7 degrees Celsius last week. I've only eaten maybe 6 strawbs thus far):
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