Accomplishments

Today's shining glory: only breaking out into massive, sobbing hysterics once (yet - the evening is still young) while trying to get to the bathroom.  I'm proud of myself!!  I think it only took me 20-25 minutes, too, which is amazing!  Okay, okay, Dom basically carried me most of the way up there, but I made it down myself!!

I know I've been MIA lately, and that sucks.  This is an RA blog after all, and I've got some RA crap on the go.  Despite the fact that most of my time is spent on my couch watching television ALL day long, I do have pretty big things going on in my life, most of which are not fun.

More of a long-winded post, full of depressing crap* soon, I promise!!

* Okay, so my life is not total crap :)  I feel with all this stuff, my relationship is getting stronger, I can appreciate those tiny little victories so much, and Christmas is a season I love very much.  While, I'm not getting as much accomplished as I'd like (fun shopping, baking, hanging out, etc.), it's still a beautiful time of the year up here in Labrador!

When Life Hands You a Float, You Ride It

So, I work at a feminist organization, and one of the events we hold each year is Take Back the Night.  It's an opportunity for women to march down the street, chanting, singing, holding signs and protesting violence against women.  Supportive men wait for us at a local park, bbq-ing and preparing for our arrival.  Then it's fun family time with singing, poetry and other open-mic type entertainment.

This is one of my favourite events we hold.  It's utterly empowering, thrilling and totally fun.  Over 100 women and children, a float and a lot of noise.

                                                      Getting ready for last year's march

However, this is going to be the first year that I may not be able to walk.  I've been in a major flare impacting my right hip and right knee (with some major neck muscle pain to boot) for about two weeks.  I can barely make it around my house most days, never mind a 30 minute walk.

As I mentioned above, we do have a float, and I will be taking full advantage.  So, this year, instead of walking at the front and chanting until my throat is raw, I will be riding in the back and chanting until my throat is raw.  I'm still participating, but I'm a little sad that it's not how I want to be participating.

This is all a lead in to the fact that the march, this Friday night, will be my last day of work for a month.  I'm taking off a month paid sick leave to try and get my health back on track, then re-entering work on a part-time basis for a period of time.  My workplace is beyond supportive, for which I am unbearably grateful.  I know not everyone has this option.

RA got the best of me, y'all.  But I'm not going down without a massive fight, and I plan on rising from this crap by taking care of myself and RESTING.  What a novel idea :)

Gimme a break

Really, RA?  You're really moving into my hips???  The one part of me that I would brag about to folks, "but at least I have good strong hips!"???  I mean, I know I had that one night flare ten years ago in my right hip, but nothing since then.  Why are you all up in my grill (whatever that means)????  And, now that we're talking, why have you moved into my left shoulder?  You've dominated my right shoulder for over a year now, rendering it incapable of being raised above my head.  Now you want to do that to my other one?  What, you want to ensure that I have dirty hair cause I can't reach up and completely wash my hair?  So now I can barely reach my head AND my feet.  Thanks a lot, jerk.

Oh crud, I just took a proactive break from ranting to book an appointment with my doctor for some cortisone shots in said nasty joints and he is away for the next few weeks.  And, getting cortisone shots makes me really paranoid.  I've had doctors struggle giving them to me, banging into the bone, so I don't want to just go to anyone.  Poop.

On a positive note (and despite how it may seem, I do try to remain positive) I just got back from my best friend's wedding and it was beautiful!  I was in massive flare mode, but I had a great time visiting long time friends, decorating, getting mani/pedis (for the first time ever!) and eating a lot of food.  I'll write more on this later, I promise!! 

Night and Day

I'm realizing this morning, as I type slowly with my stupid wrist, that I have different types of flares dependant on the time of day.  In the beginning of all of this, there were some flares that just lasted and lasted, for days, weeks, months on end.  However, as I got my disease under control I notice that they come differently.  For example, I had a night flare last night.  I went to bed fine (some achy muscles due to a long bike ride and gardening, nothing extreme) and proceeded to wake up an unbelievable amount of time in ridiculous pain, and unable to get comfortable.  However, I know that as this day wears on, and my meds kick in, I will start to feel fine.  Tired, but in much less pain.

Then there are the day flares.  I wake up fine, then an ache starts to set in, or worse yet, it comes on sudden.  A screeching immediate pain in one joint, that then may spread throughout my body.  I get immobilized, overwhelmed and tired.  This flare may last for days, but if I can find a fairly comfy position (usually on my back, arms straight at my sides), I can sleep okay.

I've yet to find many triggers for my RA, other than stress or lack of sleep.  I can't find a food that can start a flare, or many environmental factors.  I do know for my health in general, I need to eat balanced, with lots of fruit and veggies, and get some gentle exercise.

I wonder what brings on a day flare, and what brings on a night flare?