As I posted on my facebook recently, my new year's resolution is to lose as few body parts as possible. It's good solid advice. I mean, we all need as many body parts as we can keep, am I right?? Alas, I said that I wanted to lose as few as possible, not lose no body parts. For you see, I learned on December 28th, that I am in pretty desperate need of a hip replacement. Not that I didn't know some kind of intervention was coming, the crutches and wheelchair were clues. I just kind of thought that they might need to go in and "clean" things up a little. I don't know if I was being naive or something, but when the doctor told me, I was shocked. It seems silly to think back to my feelings, obviously there is some serious crap going on in there. I can't walk or get in and out of bed by myself. I can't really remember the last time I put on my own socks (I need some new gadgets).
So, I probably will lose the top of my femoral head, but it's all for a greater good, right?? I know that down the road I will feel soooo much better than I do right now. But, where I am right now is wishing I didn't have to be in need of this in the first place. Thinking about those first couple of incredibly painful days, basically re-learning how to walk and months of rehabilitation, still not being able to put my socks on for a period of time (what I wouldn't do for some independence!!), the threat of infection (got first hand experience), and the not being able to go back. Go back to all of my own body parts, to not having yet again some foreign object in my body. There's a level of distrust in my own body.
Sorry this post is a little bit of a downer! I am a bit excited, really. I can't wait to be able to get around without aids, to go outside for a walk with my fella and pup, and to put on my own darn socks! I know the outcome will be good, I just know that the road to get there will be tough.
